October 07, 2003

Caucasian Crossfire

This school doesn’t represent white people enough. Hey, relax, I’m okay! Just trying to imagine why someone would ever have that thought.

Lisa McClelland, 15, wanted to start a Caucasian Club at Freedom High School in Oakley, Calif. Her motivation, as reported in the media, was to complete the diversity of the ethnic organizations at her school. Among these include the Black Student Union, Latinos Unidos and the ALOHA Club that, oddly enough, is for Asian-Americans. McClelland explained to the San Francisco Chronicle that racial divisions and prejudice “belong in the past.” She is also a member of the school’s Gay-Straight Alliance, which I guess leaves her little time for the Fellowship of Ironic Bigots.

McClelland rounded up 20 friends to join the upstart organization. She also presented principal Eric Valto with a 300-signature petition to form the club. Among the multitude of names were several signatures from non-Caucasians. How did she do that? I can only imagine how she pitched this to her nonwhite friends:

“Hi! My name is Lisa and I am, like, totally not racist. To prove that I love all people and hate discrimination, I want to start a club for white people. Everyone can join, of course, but we’re going to focus mainly on addressing the problems that white people have faced throughout the history of America. I mean, you blacks and you Latinos and you Asians all have your cute little clubs, and it’s about time us whites had something too! If you feel like I do and want to end discrimination against whites, please sign my petition! No? You have pride, you say? Okay, how’s about a nice fat $20? Still no?” If I were an up-and-coming politician, I’d keep McClelland on my short list for spin doctor. She apparently knows how to give a presentation.

Right or wrong, McClelland has clearly done her homework and appears to be a smart young woman. But doesn’t she realize that all-white clubs already exist? Many of these clubs have the word “golf” in front of them, for example. Other groups of Caucasian comrades, such as the KKK, the Council for Conservative Citizens and the Church of the Creator, claim the same kind of love for the white race that McClelland wishes to introduce into her high school. With the name “Caucasian Club,” she at least got the initials right.

You don’t have to be Danny Glover to realize that any organization that aims to protect the dynamics of the white race is, um, perhaps going to be a tad offensive in the eyes of other ethnic groups. To just about everyone who isn’t white (and to many who are), this Caucasian Club already exists; it’s called the United States of America. To be white is to be at the head of the mainstream cultural and economical wheels of the country. It’s the reason we don’t have a White History Month: because we have 11 of them!

Of course, white people do have problems. We can’t dance. We’re not cool. Vanilla Ice. That’s about it. You need a club to discuss that? The mistake here is to assume that white people have the same need for separate brotherhood that other groups have used to survive. We don’t; we separated ourselves hundreds of years ago when we subjugated everyone who looked different to colonialism, slave labor and/or genocide. The last thing the world needs now is for this racial schism to increase. If people want to discuss racial dynamics, they would be better served in a multicultural forum rather than some high school Ku Klux Key Club.


Blogger BigMieux said...

This is another of the things that I cannot stand. Why is it racist to be proud of being white? Can you logically explain to me how it harms any other ethnic group? I for one refuse to have guilt over what happened in the past, I did not do it, I do not condone it and I refuse to be ashamed of the actions of some of history's figures that share an ethnicity with me. EQUALITY means EQUAL for everyone. How can a school that has an African American club, a Hispanic club and an Asian American club deny a Caucasian club? Why are civil liberties groups not up in arms at this blatant discrimination that is obviously based upon race alone. Just my thoughts as a white guy who is proud of the accomplishments of his ancestors and wishes no harm to anyone based upon the color of their skin.

4:37 AM  

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