September 09, 2003

How to Date Like a Democrat

What I’m about to say might shock you. Have a paramedic on hand. Here goes: I respect the Republican Party.

Yeah, it’s true that their conservative ideology scratches my back the wrong way; however, I give the Republicans credit for sticking to their guns. They know what they want and they get it any way they can. Meanwhile, the only beer available at the “party of the people,” the Democrats, is Bush Light.

In all fairness, a party like the Democrats is rarely, if ever, stable; too many diverse elements are in its tent. Look at the Southern Democrats as an example; this generally conservative batch goes back to the days when the Republican Party did not exist in the South. When the GOP did take hold, southerners were too busy sipping lemonade on their front porches to change affiliations. Decades later, the only difference between Democrat and Republican Southerners is about two miles per gallon.

Around the time I registered to vote, the Democrats began backstabbing Bill Clinton. I couldn’t fathom being in a party that was willing to castrate itself like it eventually did. Figuring that any party was capable of this, I became an independent.

But I like the Democratic Party. I like their colorful characters, such as James Carville, the Clintons and even Jesse Jackson. More than any third party, they have the clout, the resources and the potential to powerfully represent the common people. Yet they’re facing the most arrogant and shocking abuse of power in the history of history, and they’re letting it pass them by!

If one experience out of my life taught me anything, it’s that you have to seize the day. Once in high school, I was looking for a Homecoming date. I found myself talking to an attractive and popular girl in one of my classes, one I liked very much. We were sitting next to each other, and the conversation went like this:

ME: So, are you going to the homecoming dance?

HER: Maybe. I don’t have a date yet. (SLIDES HER HAND ON MINE) Do you?

ME: No, not right now. (PUTS HER ARM AROUND ME) But I’m still looking for one.

HER: (PLAYS FOOTSIE WITH ME) It’s hard to find a date, isn’t it? I can think of some people I wish would ask me. (LOOKS ME IN THE EYES WITH INTENSE PASSION)

ME: You are a fun, intelligent and beautiful woman. I have no doubt that somebody’s going to ask you to the dance. Don’t give up!

This missed opportunity came back to haunt me a few days after the dance. She and I got to talking about that Saturday night:

ME: So, did you have a good time at the dance?

HER: Oh, it was awful! I went with [name of good friend] and we barely spoke the whole night. I didn’t even kiss him! I think I would have had a much better time with someone else (LOOKS ME IN THE EYES). So, whom did you go with?

ME: I went stag. Couldn’t find a date.

Did I feel like a fool? Yes. My friends who witnessed these incidents were embarrassed for me too. When I see the Democratic Party shying away from confrontation with the GOP, I am every bit as embarrassed. That’s my message to the Democrats: take what is given to you and make the most of it. You never know when these opportunities will come back, if ever. No one ever gets what they want if they don’t try! It’s what’s expected of an opposition party.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are certainly not alone in your sentiments. There are many who share similar views.

The disgraceful thing is that moral and political philosophies were meant to be decided before so-called leaders decide to put themselves in positions to speak for others as representatives of the people - not afterward, and not held in the kinds of limbo that too many display with respect to the "hard questions" they face once there.

Custer may have been wrong but at least he didn't hesitate! Democrats who don't appear to be deciders should not be in or running for office when there are so many others who would or could make those decisions.

2:40 PM  

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